Tuesday, February 07, 2006

A Busybody is a Somebody

I felt like a Nobody, a short while back. I felt other people were doing things, and achieving things, when I wasn't really. And then I wondered why.

Yes, it often takes a while, from the moment when you recognise something to the moment when you actually wonder why things are so - and then a longer while until you actually do something about it.

So I discovered that the reason was that I wasn't doing enough in my life. Not enough for other people, just enough for me to feel OK. I was better at some things than some others, worse at other things than some, and basically just me, there, feeling insignificant. So I just found out a few areas where I could improve, and got busy.

Now I'm really tired, I have things to do and the list seems intimidating, and I have to learn how to schedule things better in my head. But I'm happier, eventually. I lost that weird feeling, at least for the time being, and I feel, when I rest my head on the pillow at last, that I'm actually doing something. I wanted to write a blogpost for days - I don't want to leave things hanging - and I wrote three in just a few minutes. And I don't really give a toss if you hate me for it, just read the one(s) you want... Or none. I just wanted to go out, in my little clearing in the virtual forest, and shout out "I'm glad". And tired, but still glad.


Anonymous said...

Bah. Depression is just lurking around some corner. It always comes back.
You can never get rid of it. Never.

Bunny Dee said...

Yep, it always comes back, that's sad but true... The thing is, though, if you have faced it once, you know you can face it again... Hopefully better than last time too...